I also have the constant reminder of my other five Chromosomally Enhanced children who need to come home. Four of them are fed and some are even in places better than we imagined they would be, but they need to be home with us learning and growing. Keith on the other hand is not fed like he should be. He is tiny and in need of medical attention. He will be 5 years old on April 1st and wears a size 3 to 6 months clothes. My heart hurts for him all the time. I worry about him and pray that God holds him in His hands while we can't hold him in ours. I beg God to make the process go quickly.
I usually don't say too much about the struggles we go through with "other people". Our household is wonderful and these people here are all that I need for everything to be ok. God is in what we are doing and I have no doubt of that. Besides that - no one else matters.
That being said, I am so fed up. When we added Keith to this adoption my sister (I use that word in biology only bc in our family love not biology forms families) made some horrible comments. She made comments about adoptive kids not being the same. How they shouldn't be able to get social security if a parent dies, because it wasn't their real parents anyway. She then went into how she isn't for abortion, but we don't need more people here "taxing the system" speaking of Down Syndrome. She made comments about how the kids shouldn't be allowed to come here because they will never "contribute". My sister had made comments in the past when her kids were acting horrid about how my kids were the issue bc it made things crowded (even though my kids were sitting quietly around a table eating). I forgave that and some other words that were very hurtful so that my grandparents could have holidays where everyone was cordial. I told her then that another hateful word about my kids would mean I was done with her for good. I told her that I understood her embarassment about her kids' behavior, but my kids had better not be the ones to have it blamed on them bc of her embarassment that my kids with "special needs" can handle get togethers better.
When the comments about Down Syndrome and adopted kids not being really the same came out, I WAS DONE! I let the rest of the family know that I was done. My mother said that it was a difference in "Political beliefs". I told her that was only accurate if my sister was a "Nazi". Since then the rest of my family (with the exception of my brother and sister in law - much more my real sister- who purely tolerate her when necessary) have continued to say she is wrong, but I don't feel they've taken a "stand". They will say that she is very wrong, but "her kids" can't help it. I do understand that, because I wouldn't wish anything bad of her kids, because it isn't their fault that she is a . . . . . .
It has made a huge impact though. I know that if she had made a racial comment about Denzell, Precious, or Unique being African American and somehow "unworthy" then our family would have had a fit. Why then is it ok for comments about Down Syndrome??? I guess it is because our entire world seems to devalue people with an extra chromosome. It makes me furious though. (Did you read the story about the parents who were awarded nearly $3 million because they weren't told their child had Down Syndrome in utero and they would have aborted her!!!! GRRRRR!!!!!) What my sister and our world don't seem to understand is that people with Down Syndrome contribute way more than my sister. My sister has mooched in any way that she can and gotten any help that she can. She leaves her kids with whoever she can. People with Down Syndrome are so stubborn that they can accomplish much more than they are given credit for. They make everyone around them better. They can have careers when they become adults. They make the world smile (well except those with a scowl that they were born to begin with). They were PUT HERE BY GOD!! Our world employs "teachers", but people with Down Syndrome are the "teachers" that God put here.
All I know is that I would hate to stand before God some day and give account for in anyway harboring those thoughts, feelings, or condoning in any way those who have those thoughts or feelings. Those (like my biological sister) who have the nerve to actually say such things to a parent who ADORES their children's extra chromosome, should beware. She was very blessed that she had that audacity over the phone. In person, I would have knocked her down! For my family members who have the audacity to let her name slip out of their mouths in conversation with me, I pray that I can contain my thoughts, but I make no guarantees. God even said that you can't serve two masters and you must choose a side. Neutral sometimes just isn't really neutral. I only need God to approve of me, so if people wonder why I don't have more to do with family, there is the reason. Yes, many of them love my children. Sometimes love with no action just isn't enough though.
I hate to end a post on such a negative note. I realize that many of you are going "what the heck", but it is something that I've needed to get off my chest. I just got off the phone with a family member who was giving her "prolife speech" that she had given to someone at work. All the while, I know that she still won't take a stand as far as my sister. That conversation added to the story about the family suing because their daughter was born just sent me into rant mode and I had to let it out. This is the result of all those things in combination with seeing my little girl the world thinks isn't worthy bc God made her special sick, while my little boy made in God's image but considered unworthy by so much of the world lays alone and hungry. Sorry if it isn't "nice" or "politically correct" or "encouraging", but its truthful.
On a positive note, please go read THIS post for all the wonderful opportunities available right now to those who support us. :) For those in our church and those others who truly support us, we are truly thankful and thank God for you each day.
A few quotes from Abraham Lincoln:
“Stand with anyone that is right; stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong.” Wow, how this applies to so many situations where those with an extra chromosome are being aborted, orphaned, and thought unworthy!
"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." Does this not apply to those with an extra chromosome world??
“My concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right.” I guess the question is WWJD??? If He were walking this earth now, would those who call themselves Christians dare to do and say the things they do about children that He created???
“Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.” So very true? If we deny the freedom to live and be valued to children and adults because of God giving them a little something "extra", then should we have it???
Then even more important, what does the Bible say:
Never take advantage of any widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, you can be sure that I will hear their cry.
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5SO I THINK THAT MAKES IT PRETTY CLEAR WHERE GOD STANDS!
Joshua 24:15 - "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”