We took the children to hear Squire Parson's and his wonderful group on Saturday night. He was at the church that I grew up in. His son recognized us from when we use to go see them all the time. He came over to talk to us and it thrilled the kids. It was so nice to see them again and Squire came up to speak before he sung.
The service was wonderful. It was loads of fun, full of personality, and more than you could understand without being there. I felt encouraged, challenged to have more faith, so thankful to be sitting at His feet, and then I got something I didn't expect.
Squire talked about finding out that he had Leukemia a short while ago. I remember reading the news on his site and sending up prayers. Seeing him back singing and so strong was wonderful!
Then he sung a song that he had wrote about that time. These are the words that God used to give me such a wonderful assurance:
Later when the room was empty
I was talking to my Lord
Thanking Him for all the blessings
on my Life He had poured
I felt a touch upon my shoulder
I turned around
No one to see
Once again I felt Him touch me
I knew the Lord had come to me
I'm still here I heard Him whisper
I am still upon the throne
I'm still here I'm right beside you
Child I'll not forsake my own.
You can go hear part it HERE.
The tears started to flow. I knew exactly what God was telling me. See my Keith is NOT alone in that isolation room. He never has been! Yes, people have treated him horribly. Yes, people forgot him and there was a long time that I never even knew he existed. God will not forsake His own and my children are His and have been since long before I knew they were there to love them!
GOD WAS THERE!
So often during this journey, I've prayed that somehow God would hug them for me. I've prayed that He would ease their loneliness, keep them company, and make them feel loved even while in a place where there was no love. I've prayed it knowing He could and hoping that He would. I've known that He loved them even more than I do, yet I've felt such despair that I can't hold them in my arms. I've begged Him to hold them in His. I've cried as I fell asleep, while I showered, when I had to slip away from the kids and say I had to go to the bathroom just so that I could cry without spreading my sorrow to my little ones. I've begged for His protection for them, for Him to ease the discomfort of hungry bellies, help them have hope inside for a family even though they didn't even know what it meant. I've begged Him to give them dreams of Mommy coming to get them and to help them know it is going to happen. I've asked Him to prepare their hearts for the huge change coming and help them to be ready to be loved and us to be ready to meet their differing needs of which we can't even imagine yet.
Then in the 79 words you read above, God spoke to my heart. He told me that He is there with them. That I can rest a little easier. That He has it under control and they are safe in His arms until He brings them into mine. As the tears flowed, I felt such a relief. I am trying hard to hang on to that peace and relief.
Soon my wonderful Father is going to wipe away my tears and theirs and place them in my arms, but until then none of us are alone.
I highly advise you go listen and see if you can get some of that peace. It made the rest of the weekend (which are always SO HARD) so much easier. It made today so much easier. It is making waiting so much easier.
That being said, our Father likes to hear from us. Please talk to Him and ask Him to bring them home quickly! :)