Please pray for Paula. Someone did finallly get to meet her. That part is very good. They also found that it wasn't one of the really bad mental institutions from what they saw. I would have been quite relieved about her situation if it wasn't for her "condition".
It turns out that Paula was completely "unresponsive". She didn't respond to seeing them, hearing them, or them touching her. I am just crushed for her. I can't get to her and she needs a mommy to love her. I wish I could just go scoop her up and start the long road to helping her get better. We still have many months left before we will be able to bring her home. I just fear that she has shut off the world completely. Every child needs someone to LOVE them. Food and clothing isn't enough. She needs a FAMILY!
I am not at all afraid of bringing her home. I know we can give her what she needs. I am terribly afraid that she will give up and won't make it home. Without love children cannot be healthy. They don't grow properly. They don't feel safe. They don't develop properly. She needs those things in an urgent way. The helplessness that I feel in knowing that she is there without responding and I can do nothing to help her is so intense. I cried today until I was hoarse. I let the children watch tv for way longer than normal. They don't watch a lot so they were very glad to be told to go watch tv a little while. I hid in my room and got a lot of crying over with. I talked to a couple of really good friends who made me laugh after listening to me cry.
Please pray for Paula. Pray that God will help us get a really quick USCIS approval. I know God can do miracles and I am determined to watch them happen. Pray that she will hold on inside the little world that she is in inside of her. Pray that God will prepare her tiny heart for love and family.
I just came across your blog and am in tears for Paula! She was one of the first children Andrea sent us when we were starting the process a year ago. God lead us to Hong Kong instead but it breaks my heart to hear she isn't doing well. I will pray for her and your family!
ReplyDeleteThat is truly heartbreaking. I will pray for her and your family. I hope you can get to her soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so saddened by the news about Paula- and after looking at the pics of the newest little ones on Reece's Rainbow. Truly, it makes me want to bury my head in my arms and cry....
ReplyDeleteAll children DESERVE love, attention and most of all- a family to love them no matter what.
Why- oh why- is it so so hard to adopt when there are so many of us willing to do so???? I realized tonight that the child for whom I'm a prayer warrior on Reece's Rainbow is in a region in Russia where I would NOT BE ELIGBLE to adopt! I am 40, make a very good living,have been married for almost 20 years and have 3 kids- but still- would not be eligible to adopt him! Somehow- according to the Russian government- leaving him to grow up in an orphanage with no parents- and no FOREVER love....would be BETTER.
I'm sorry to turn this into an "about me" post...my thoughts are with you and sweet Paula.
Jenn
Thank you for the prayers ladies. I am just holding onto knowing that God is holding her while I can't. I'm praying He gives us miracles to get her home as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteJenn, believe me I understand your frustration. For some reason, most places make adoption way too hard. The US makes it way harder than it has to be as well. USCIS should be quicker. I have a little boy in TX who I've been working on adopting for longer than some international adoptions take! Children having families needs to be a much bigger priority!
I'm sorry you aren't eligible for that little guy. There are other places that will allow you to adopt. God must have a little one for you there. Keep looking. God has a perfect plan. :)