Please pray for Paula. Someone did finallly get to meet her. That part is very good. They also found that it wasn't one of the really bad mental institutions from what they saw. I would have been quite relieved about her situation if it wasn't for her "condition".
It turns out that Paula was completely "unresponsive". She didn't respond to seeing them, hearing them, or them touching her. I am just crushed for her. I can't get to her and she needs a mommy to love her. I wish I could just go scoop her up and start the long road to helping her get better. We still have many months left before we will be able to bring her home. I just fear that she has shut off the world completely. Every child needs someone to LOVE them. Food and clothing isn't enough. She needs a FAMILY!
I am not at all afraid of bringing her home. I know we can give her what she needs. I am terribly afraid that she will give up and won't make it home. Without love children cannot be healthy. They don't grow properly. They don't feel safe. They don't develop properly. She needs those things in an urgent way. The helplessness that I feel in knowing that she is there without responding and I can do nothing to help her is so intense. I cried today until I was hoarse. I let the children watch tv for way longer than normal. They don't watch a lot so they were very glad to be told to go watch tv a little while. I hid in my room and got a lot of crying over with. I talked to a couple of really good friends who made me laugh after listening to me cry.
Please pray for Paula. Pray that God will help us get a really quick USCIS approval. I know God can do miracles and I am determined to watch them happen. Pray that she will hold on inside the little world that she is in inside of her. Pray that God will prepare her tiny heart for love and family.