Friday, February 18, 2011

Great Post

No, I'm not bragging.  :)  I ran across this post written by a wonderful adoptive mother.  Here is a link and I put it again at the bottom: It shares many of the things that I hear way too often.  I will be honest and say that the things said there are heard to often and felt even more often.  I will also be honest and say that it has shaped me. 

Even when people may not think these things, I feel them.  I know that SOME people feel this way or say these things and as a result I wonder about many others.  They are views that I don't agree with.  All the things that this other mother says are so true.  The people with the views are the ones who are very WRONG. 

It still has affected how I react and deal with others.  I don't ask for help.  I don't like to accept help.  I often refuse help when it is offered.  I don't like to share my children with others who didn't think we should keep adopting and if I had listened to then I would have those children.  I go above and beyond what most parents would do in order to prove to anyone in doubt that all of my children are still well taken care of and missing nothing. 

I take it a little far I will admit.  We have a wonderful church family.  At the same time I realize that when someone says "Let me help you get drinks" or "I can help you get plates" or "Tell me what I can do to help you", I say "Oh no, don't worry.  I've got it all under control."  I know I do it.  I know that people with two children (or even one) accept help more often than I can ever force myself.  I don't want anyone to think that I can't "do it all".  I can do everything I need to do and do it without help.  Why though can't I let someone "make drinks" or "help with plates"?  Purely because I've insisted on doing it all myself.  I mean it would be great to have them help, but I don't want anyone to think I "can't" or feed anyone's belief that we should quit now. 

We manage quite well.  The kids all do their part to help.  I could be more willing to accept help.  I mean. . . . gasp. . . . I could even ask for help.  Maybe I will try to work on this, but I can't make any promises. 

Here is the really good post:

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