The Questions with No Answers and Being Real

Ok, so it is the middle of the day and not when I usually blog.  I need to blog though bc what I'm thinking isn't something that can "come out" while I'm in there with my kids.  What I'm about to blog about isn't "fun" or what anyone wants to read about.  It isn't happy or what anyone wants to go share.  It isn't the "happy cheerleader" stuff that makes people want to come visit my blog or donate to our adoption to get my kids home and it isn't the kind of stuff that I usually blog about.  Its just what is clogging up my brain.  It probably won't come out in a logical way.  It probably won't be eloquent like so many blog and maybe not even coherent. 

This adoption is SO hard.  This adoption is SO different.  We love all three of these kids SO much.  We worry about all three of them SO much.  They all lived in an orphanage that they received very subpar care even for the worst of orphanage for years, but now things are improving and we are so thankful for that.  There is someone new in charge who is working hard to right the wrongs and for that we are so thankful.  That person can't fix it all at once, but she is trying hard and that is all anyone can do. 

Matthew is 9 and 18lbs though.  That is tiny!!  Matthew is contracted up horribly from laying there for years and starving for years and laying and laying and laying.

 

His physical condition kills me.  I could lay and cry in a fetal position over how fragile my baby boy is.  I fear each morning and email that says he didn't make it till we got there.  I cry as I type that.  I fear it so much.  I fear he will die alone. 

 

What is killing me today and a lot of days and has made me literally sick this week is what he must think. 

 

He was beat into a coma by his birthfather. . . Does he remember???  Was he abused all the time those first 4 1/2 years??  Was it rare or often??  Was it a drunken rage???  Does he remember being a little boy who could run around and play before that beating and now he has legs that won't straighten????  How scared is he right now?  Does he cringe as each adult approaches?  Does the crib feel a prison that keeps him from the freedom he had those first 4 1/2 years or does it actually feel safe after 4 1/2 years of abuse? 

 

These are the things that drive me nearly crazy today. . . I have no power to comfort him across that ocean.  I can't tell him that love and safety are just a short time away. 

 

How bad do the contractures hurt?  How much pain is he in? 

 

Sometimes I hope that the brain injury is enough that he doesn't remember the beating.  Does he remember the family?  Does he feel the abandonment? 

 

Oh God please just don't let him feel all the emotional pain and fear. 

 

Please God give us that signature soon!  Please God hold my baby boy until I can! 

 

Please God take these tears from me today and help me to put on the front of "Happy Mom" that my kids need here. 

 

So sorry to all of you who don't see "this side" often, but I have to put it somewhere today and this is where it has to go. . . Please pray for Matthew, the process, the signature, my tears to dry up. . . 

VERBAL REFERRAL!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!

Ok, the VERBAL REFERRAL was given yesterday.  The meeting ran until after business hours there so we didn't get word until today.  We had expected that meeting last week, but it was postponed until yesterday.  I must say that sleep didn't happen so much last night.  The seven hour time difference meant that I stayed up much of the night (more than normal if you know me!) looking "just in case" word came. 

For those not familiar with the adoption process or how it works in our specific country, that means that our children's country has received our dossier and reviewed it in the formal meeting. They have determined that it is completed and acceptable. They have determined that we can travel to meet the children! Now we need the main person who was in that meeting to "sign" the paper which could come at any time. That is called a "written referral". Once that happens then our attorney will give us an official travel date to leave!!! Praising God for one more step in that direction!!

Now, I need to get the drawing done for the giveaway.  There are lots of entries and I don't want to mess it up.  I will get the winners names up very soon.  It may be late tomorrow night before they get up though.  If I did them right now in my sleep deprived state I fear I would do something wrong.  Check back late Wednesday night or early Thursday morning.  I often do things after the kids are in bed! 

Thank all of you for your prayers!!  Please continue to pray that the signature comes soon.  There is a letter stating that Matthew's medical situation is very urgent and we are praying that the signature is expedited as a result! 

If you'd like to help us continue to work toward being funded you can go to the ipad fundraiser our friend is hosting on her blog HERE

Keep praying for Matthew, Johnathan, and Charity! 

Giveaway Ends Today!!!

Ok, the What's in the Bible/Veggie Tales Giveaway ends tonight!!!!  Last chance to get try to get these great prizes!!! 

As a BONUS, I've added one more way to get an entry!!  We have an auction that is ending today, so if you go on over to Facebook using THIS LINK, then the winning bidder of each item will also get a free entry into this giveaway!!  Lots of great quilts, jewelry, and other items on there with low bids.  You can shop and get entries all at the same time!


1. We have the entire What's in the Bible with Buck Denver series! That is Volumes 1-10!!! This is the best dvd series ever for kids and honestly has everyone in our house excited every time a new episode comes out. They are so wonderful there that when I told them about our adoption and fundraising needs, they donated the WHOLE 10 DVD SET!! This set retails for $129.99 and even more if each is bought separately! We are so thankful for their help and generosity!! They also are letting us raise money towards our adoption as affiliates, so you can shop with them and help our adoption anytime at this link: SHOP HERE

WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO ADD THAT GREAT SET TO THEIR LIBRARY!!??!!!

2. We have a $100 giftcard or donation to waiting child or adopting family of your choice!! The winner of this will let me know if they prefer a giftcard to Walmart or child or family on Reece's Rainbow to recieve the $100 once the giveaway ends!

3. VEGGIE TALE PACK #1: This is a package of Veggie Tales DVDs

4. VEGGIE TALE PACK #2: This is this package of Veggie Tale DVDs

5. VEGGIE TALE PACK #3: This is for a package of "I Can Read" books

6. VEGGIE TALE PACK #4: This package of Veggie Tales Lesson Books

7. The newest Veggie Tale movie can be added to your collection!

8 and 9!! We are going to order and give away two copies of Volume #10 of What's in the Bible!! This is seriously the very best presentation of the Bible ever and it is our pleasure to give it away. Your children will experience God's love for them with an explanation that they will understand and will leave them in awe of His love and Christ's sacrifice.

10. I am going to order a What's in the Bible Volume #1 for someone else to start their collection just for SHARING THIS GIVEAWAY! So you help us get started with our giveaway and we'll help you get started with your What's in the Bible collection! (For this part of the giveaway all you need to do is share and comment to tell me where you shared to be entered!!!)

Entering is easy as 1, 2, 3! 1)Just donate towards our adoption at our FSP: CLICK HERE

2) Email me your receipt from that donation to abcunroe@yahoo.com

3) If you want to be a part of the share gift then share this and comment!

For every $5 you donate to our adoption fund you will receive one entry into our giveaway, so the more you help us the more chances you have to win!!!!

 

Please pray that things will move quickly with the process! Our dossier is submitted and should be a part of a meeting on Monday.  Last weeks's meeting didn't happen at all, so Monday should be the day that we get our verbal referral!  We are getting so close to trip #1!!!! Aleshia will be having Open Heart surgery on June 6th, so I really need to do this trip #1 in May! Matthew there is in such horrible condition, so I really need to get to him quickly as well. We really need our FSP to read around $9,000 for this first trip. Can you help us get there??? This Giveaway will go until the 20th of April!!!

 

The winners will be announced here by the 23rd so please check back!!!  Winners will have until the 28th to message me your address in order to claim your prizes!  (I will also email the winners with the emails that you have sent me your receipts from!)

Submitted!!

Our paperwork was submitted yesterday!!  I should travel soon to meet the kids.  I am trying to get things ready to go.  Aleshia (just came home in July) has a sedated ECHO and surgeon appointment April 30th.  Brent will stay here with the kids for this trip and a nurse friend and another friend will go with me.  We need to get a lot of info, especially about Matthew for this trip.  His contractures, tiny size (18lbs at age 9), and lack of stimulation in that crib are going to make travel home very difficult for him.  It is important to get measurements and information to have proper equipment for travel home for him.  We also want to spend lots of quality time with all three learning about what they like, dislike, and what motivates and calms them.  We need to learn about their personalities and get to know them the best you can in just 9 visits! 

Please pray for me as I prepare for the trip!

Please visit my friend's blog as she has a fundraiser going to help with funds for the adoption right now.  You can click HERE to go and have an opportunity at SEVEN ipads and other electronics.  In the meantime you are helping us get to the kids.  You can also see the first pictures we ever saw of the 5 we brought home in July and then their updated pictures and ready a little more about how this how journey began and the three we are going for now.  Don't miss it!!  I'll try to get another picture post up soon.  Make sure to scan below for some updates on the kids that I got up last week if you haven't seen them yet! 

Keith Update

Ok, trying to get updates in before more paperwork starts.  lol  The dossier is there and translated which means I breathe a sigh of relief and wait for the next paperwork to begin.  In the meantime I want to show you some amazing pictures of the kids.  I'm unsure as to why I can't get videos to load on here.  :(  I can upload a whole bunch of pictures though!  :)

Remember Keith?



 

First off, you need to know that Keith isn't a little baby any more.

He weighs 29.4 pounds and is sleeping in the bottom bunk.

This picture was from his first time trying it out and Dayton was sitting in it with him

just to make sure he was ok withit, but he's a big boy and he thought it was GREAT!



He's a big boy who likes to sit on the trampoline while his big brother bounces too!

(I wish you could see him laughing, but the pictures are just a blur so we had to settle for the "after")

His big sister Julianne taught him how to sit like a big boy in the doctor's office!

 Thankfully they both have cute hands.

The prefer to look at those cute hands over the books or toys that I would bring!

If my hands were that cute, I'd do the same thing though I guess!

He had a check up on World Down Syndrome Day (March 21st!),

so he wore his "Chromosomally Enhanced" shirt!

He made the shirt look REALLY good!

He knew it too!

He got a hair cut just before Easter.

He does NOT like his hair cut,

so when we cut it we do it pretty short so we don't have to do it again for a while!

Keith wore many size 3 to 6 size month outfits

and a few size 6 to 9 month outfits

when I picked him up in July '12.

He turned 6 April 1st!

He went to the store with me to buy size 3T jeans

which fit him WELL!

Got some Elmo balloons while we were there.

We had a huge Elmo glow party, but the pictures aren't on the computer yet.

 

I'm hoping to travel in May back to where Keith came from to visit Matthew, Johnathan, and Charity for the first time.  You can go read more about them HERE .  That will be trip #1 and then a few months later I will travel back to get them and bring the home where they too can learn about love and family.  They too will have the chance to grow and thrive. You can click HERE to go to see the giveaway we have going on right now and be a part of the people that God is using to bring them home.  We have some great dvds, books, and a $100 giftcard up for grabs, plus you can be a part of the Mulligan Stew too!

Hidden Treasures!!

The Hidden Treasures Auction will end tonight!!!  Go check it out before it is all over.  CLICK HERE TO GO VISIT THEM!   Make sure to look for the quilt that I made and the Princess dress that I made that Anita is modelling for the auction!!  My grandmother also made two quilts to help bring home her newest great grandchildren!!  She started making quilts just so she could help bring them home, so go check it out.  There is awesome jewelry, great gift cards, and lots of great items on there!! 

Don't forget to look at the giveaway we have going on right now on here!!  You can click HERE to see that and read about Mulligan Stew!  You should go check out that blog to see pictures of Keith meeting Julia.  We were in town for the girls' cardiologist.  Aleshia and Keith that she has pictures of on there were both from our last adoption.  Julianne was from a different adoption and was adopted from US foster care.  She was our first with Down Syndrome and is the one who made us start looking around and find the 5 Bulgarian Blessings that you all came to love so dearly!  Go look HERE at pictures!  Check out the giveaway while you are at it there too!!!

So here are some treasures for you to see from Easter morning.  These are the youngest 5 girls.  :)

Julianne is 6

and

Aleshia is 6!

Anita is 7!

 

 Ahnja is 11 now and Destiny will be 10 next month!





I recently gave you an update on Nicholas.  Keith will have an update all of his own.  It is impossible to show you how much he has grown with just one picture and he is in motion so much that most of his pictures have at least one part blurry!  lol 



Really Cool Giveaway!!!

Ok, so I have a really great prize that was donated and so I am going to add to it and make a really great giveaway!!  The last pieces of our dossier have been mailed to our children's country and will arrive in just a few days.  We need to get all our funds in place, so I can go on trip #1 to visit our 3 children!!  Will you help!!  There are 10 prizes up for grabs here, plus a whole other giveaway you can be a part of while you help!!!

So here are the prizes:

1. We have the entire What's in the Bible with Buck Denver series!  That is Volumes 1-10!!!  This is the best dvd series ever for kids and honestly has everyone in our house excited every time a new episode comes out.  They are so wonderful there that when I told them about our adoption and fundraising needs, they donated the WHOLE 10 DVD SET!!  This set retails for $129.99 and even more if each is bought separately!  We are so thankful for their help and generosity!!  They also are letting us raise money towards our adoption as affiliates, so you can shop with them and help our adoption anytime at this link:  SHOP HERE

WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO ADD THAT GREAT SET TO THEIR LIBRARY!!??!!!  

2. We have a $100 giftcard or donation to waiting child or adopting family of your choice!!  The winner of this will let me know if they prefer a giftcard to Walmart or  child or family on Reece's Rainbow to recieve the $100 once the giveaway ends!

3. VEGGIE TALE PACK #1:  This is a package of Veggie Tales DVDs

4.  VEGGIE TALE PACK #2:  This is this package of Veggie Tale DVDs

5.  VEGGIE TALE PACK #3:  This is for a package of  "I Can Read" books

6. VEGGIE TALE PACK #4:  This package of Veggie Tales Lesson Books

7.  The newest Veggie Tale movie can be added to your collection!

8 and 9!!  We are going to order and give away two copies of Volume #10 of What's in the Bible!!  This is seriously the very best presentation of the Bible ever and it is our pleasure to give it away.  Your children will experience God's love for them with an explanation that they will understand and will leave them in awe of His love and Christ's sacrifice.  

10.  I am going to order a What's in the Bible Volume #1 for someone else to start their collection just for  SHARING THIS GIVEAWAY!  So you help us get started with our giveaway and we'll help you get started with your What's in the Bible collection!  (For this part of the giveaway all you need to do is share and comment to tell me where you shared to be entered!!!)

Entering is easy as 1, 2, 3!  1)Just donate towards our adoption at our FSP:  CLICK HERE 

                                          2) Email me your receipt from that donation to abcunroe@yahoo.com

                                          3) If you want to be a part of the share gift then share this and comment!

For every $5 you donate to our adoption fund you will receive one entry into our giveaway, so the more you help us the more chances you have to win!!!!  

THEN, if you would like a chance to win LOTS of extra prizes (over $5,000 worth!!!) go see how you can enter Mulligan Stew as well!!  CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW YOU CAN BE ENTERED THERE!   This is a really great giveaway and Casey is one of the orphans that is listed there that you can give money toward.  If you donate to him, send that receipt to abcunroe@yahoo.com  for an extra entry into my giveaway as well.  

Please pray that things will move quickly with the process! The last pieces of our dossier is on its way to the children's country.  Most of our dossier is already there and translated.  We are getting so close to trip #1!!!! Aleshia will be having Open Heart surgery on June 6th, so I really need to do this trip #1 in May!  Matthew there is in such horrible condition, so I really need to get to him quickly as well.  We really need our FSP to read around $9,000 for this first trip.  Can you help us get there???    This Giveaway will go until the 20th of April!!!