Sunday, August 11, 2013

Trip to Meet the Three Part 4: Meeting Matthew

Well, meeting Matthew was very different than I expected.  Matthew had grown since he had been given a Baba (Again this is "grandmother" in their language and is provided by a ministry there.  He received one because they found out he had a family coming.).  He had gained weight and instead of 18 pounds at almost 10 years old, he was now between 20 and 22 pounds.  I was THRILLED to see that he had gained weight!!  My immediate thoughts were that he was doing SO much better than I expected.  He was very drawn up of course, but to know that this Baba was taking the time to feed him and in such a short time he had gained so much was both thrilling and sad.  If he could gain so much so quickly, then how sad that it took knowing a family was coming for him to get a Baba.  Yet resources are limited.  They never imagined that HE would be chosen. . . this broke my heart into a million pieces. . .

This first picture was me working with him on our first visit,
because I needed to start learning for travel how stiff he is.
I needed to know for dressing purposes how much movement there is.
I needed to know for carseat purposes what his legs could comfortably do.
So I just slowly talked to him and began to move his legs while rubbing them softly.
Just a little at a time. . .

This picture is a very content and comfortable little boy.
It feels good to not be so tight. . .
It feels good to have your legs release.
It feels good to SMILE!
(No one there knew he could smile)
It feels really good to know you are loved!
This is from our 2nd visit on the first day.
This picture is how Matthew lives every day, except that most of his life is spent flat. 
He lives this drawn up.
His hands, arms, and legs are all drawn up and tight.
This next picture shows you the difference that 90 minutes of love and soft touch
made to my very love starved boy.
When I saw this comparison that night I could barely sleep.
His face changed.
His arms relaxed.
His legs relaxed
 This day we finally got permission for him to go outside.
You can see that even though his legs are long
(and somewhat distorted in the picture above because of the angle),
he is a very small boy for almost 10 at the time.
Before he went for his Visa pictures, his Baba gave him a haircut.
Since the pictures had to be taken on a white background
and he is unable to sit up
he went on this and had his picture take laying on it.
I'm not going to talk about my last day with him.  Aleshia has heart surgery in just a couple days and talking about having to leave him is too much to bear.  Let's just say that my little boy is laying right now in the position that he laid in for all the years before.  No one is giving him kisses or helping him relax.  No one knows everything that I learned about him during that week.
While I was there I learned a lot about my little boy.  His teeth have all rotted out till they are below the gum line for the most part.  Most of the cause is reflux, but no one thinks he has reflux.  See in an orphanage no one is noticing what happens after you eat. . . they don't have time.  Mommy notices when you are throwing up and swallowing it.  He also lays flat in a bed all the time, which makes the reflux worse. . . My little boy is also suffering from silent seizures.  Once he is home we will be headed straight for a neurologist.  They will deal with many issues, but the silent seizures will be addressed very quickly. 
The thought of how my little guy is living is heartbreaking.  I can barely breathe when I think of it.  It kills me to think that it was caused by a traumatic brain injury when his birthfather beat him into a coma.  I pray that he doesn't even remember that!  I pray he doesn't even remember when he use to be able to run around, play, and talk.  I do KNOW that he understands much more than people think. 
*There are links on the right side bar if you would like to help bring Matthew, Johnathan, and Charity home.  There will be a big giveaway starting here in the next day or two as well!
Please please pray that this process moves quickly.  Pray for him as he endures the wait.




  1. Oh Amanda! He is simply precious! I love the haircut too.

  2. I have been following your family's adoption blog for quite some time. I spent a semester volunteering in an orphanage for special needs children in Chile and see the dire need to have children in families. Please feel free to share my information to help your family raise funds to bring your three home!

    I just launched my etsy store! 50% of the sale prices go to families adopting through RR! All someone has to do is enter your families name/blog/sponsorship page or child information on the message at check out and I will be donating the money to each family each month!

    Spread the message to people!

    My blog is:

    My store is at:

    Any people who purchase from me that don't specify will just be donated to a family I feel called to give to!


    Susan Sass