Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Helplessness

We have been adopting for years.  We adopted our first child in 2001(and give birth to a little boy 6wks later).  Since then we have adopted 10 more children.  We have one more on the way via the foster/adoption route.  Now we are committed to adopting 3 from Eastern Europe and hoping to adopt one additional child  from there as well. 

I am getting ready to go check on my youngest daughter.  Julianne is 4 (just a few months younger than Paula) years old. She also has Down Syndrome.  She is so tiny (but Paula was smaller at the last known time).  I go in to check on her and see her cute button nose before I got to bed each night. 

When I go in to check on her I can't help but think of the children around the world that don't have her life.  Julianne is spoiled beyond belief by 11 older siblings.  We all cater to her whims and tell her of her "wonderfulness".  She is adored!  Yet, there are children who haven't been out of their beds today.  Julianne is always excited to get in her's at night, but Paula has likely not been out of hers.  I'm sure that no one is heading in to look at how wonderful my other three are tonight.  No one even knows how wonderful they are.  It really is heartbreaking as a mother to wonder if your children are ok.  Did anyone smile at them today?  Did anyone give them a treat?  Did anyone tell them that they are wonderfully special?  When you think about how helpless you are to do anything for them today, it is heartbreaking. 

God is good.  He loved them before I knew they existed.  He has moved mountains to make us able to adopt them.  Once they get here, we will make sure that they know how wonderfully special they are.  We will give them the life that they deserve and a loving family who adores them as well. 

It is amazing the longing and love that God places in the heart of a mommy long before she holds her babies in her arms.  First God places them in her heart and then later in her arms.


  1. What a precious post, Amanda. It is comforting to all of us who adopt, to know that God held our children for us before we ever even knew they existed. It is so different from knowing that they are safe in your womb from day 1. We are praying for all 5 of your little ones who are not yet home with you.

    Now you can change your profile description :)

  2. Thank you. I am hanging on to the fact that God already has this whole thing under control and them in His hands. :) The love is the same as the one bio child, but the helplessness of not being able to take care of them is always so overwhelming.