ADOPTION VIDEO

Would you all like to see our ADOPTION VIDEO?  My wonderfully amazing friend Colleen put it together for us.  I am so unskilled at computer stuff that it is pitiful!  She did an amazing job though!  She is just starting her own amazing adoption journey to her son that she met while on my adoption trip and you can follow along with her HERE. 

Here is Our Adoption Journey to Matthew, Johnathan, and Charity 

Wonderful Shirt Fundraiser!

We've been so blessed that Shari Lafayette from Personalized Prints  has donated some AMAZING shirts for us to sell. 

 

To order yours simply PayPal your payment to unroerescare@yahoo.com and in the note section give me your size or sizes that you are ordering as well as your name and address.  Shirts are $15 each and include shipping.  The shirts will all come to me at once and I will ship them to you.   

 

Sizes Available are: 

Youth XSmall

Youth Small

Youth Medium

Youth Large

Youth XLarge

Adult Small

Adult Medium

Adult Large

Adult XLarge

Adult 2XLarge

Adult 3XLarge

Adult 4Xlarge

Adult 5XLarge

Adult 6XLarge

                                  

The Questions with No Answers and Being Real

Ok, so it is the middle of the day and not when I usually blog.  I need to blog though bc what I'm thinking isn't something that can "come out" while I'm in there with my kids.  What I'm about to blog about isn't "fun" or what anyone wants to read about.  It isn't happy or what anyone wants to go share.  It isn't the "happy cheerleader" stuff that makes people want to come visit my blog or donate to our adoption to get my kids home and it isn't the kind of stuff that I usually blog about.  Its just what is clogging up my brain.  It probably won't come out in a logical way.  It probably won't be eloquent like so many blog and maybe not even coherent. 

This adoption is SO hard.  This adoption is SO different.  We love all three of these kids SO much.  We worry about all three of them SO much.  They all lived in an orphanage that they received very subpar care even for the worst of orphanage for years, but now things are improving and we are so thankful for that.  There is someone new in charge who is working hard to right the wrongs and for that we are so thankful.  That person can't fix it all at once, but she is trying hard and that is all anyone can do. 

Matthew is 9 and 18lbs though.  That is tiny!!  Matthew is contracted up horribly from laying there for years and starving for years and laying and laying and laying.

 

His physical condition kills me.  I could lay and cry in a fetal position over how fragile my baby boy is.  I fear each morning and email that says he didn't make it till we got there.  I cry as I type that.  I fear it so much.  I fear he will die alone. 

 

What is killing me today and a lot of days and has made me literally sick this week is what he must think. 

 

He was beat into a coma by his birthfather. . . Does he remember???  Was he abused all the time those first 4 1/2 years??  Was it rare or often??  Was it a drunken rage???  Does he remember being a little boy who could run around and play before that beating and now he has legs that won't straighten????  How scared is he right now?  Does he cringe as each adult approaches?  Does the crib feel a prison that keeps him from the freedom he had those first 4 1/2 years or does it actually feel safe after 4 1/2 years of abuse? 

 

These are the things that drive me nearly crazy today. . . I have no power to comfort him across that ocean.  I can't tell him that love and safety are just a short time away. 

 

How bad do the contractures hurt?  How much pain is he in? 

 

Sometimes I hope that the brain injury is enough that he doesn't remember the beating.  Does he remember the family?  Does he feel the abandonment? 

 

Oh God please just don't let him feel all the emotional pain and fear. 

 

Please God give us that signature soon!  Please God hold my baby boy until I can! 

 

Please God take these tears from me today and help me to put on the front of "Happy Mom" that my kids need here. 

 

So sorry to all of you who don't see "this side" often, but I have to put it somewhere today and this is where it has to go. . . Please pray for Matthew, the process, the signature, my tears to dry up. . . 

Update and Adoption Auction

Sorry I haven't been on much.  Things have been a little busy and when they are the updating here is the first thing to get left out.

Keith has had an infection in his sinuses and ears ever since I picked him up.  He's had antibiotics almost constantly and even tried antibiotic shots.  We've been to ENTs that were afraid to do anything because of his size, but who said that he wouldn't get better without surgery to put in ear tubes and remove his tonsils and adnoids.  A couple weeks ago the infection got too bad while we were waiting to go to a new ENT that upcoming Monday and he ended up in PICU.  He'd only been off of antibiotics for about 5 days!!  Thursday at an appointment with our primary care provider his lungs were clear and Saturday he had pneumonia.

The pneumonia ended up being a lot less scary than watching his response to being in a PICU room in a crib with people in scrubs.  :(  I can't even describe to you what it is like to see your baby that scared.  I found that his stress and fear was much reduced if I was in the crib (they should make those things bigger!) with him, so for 3 nights this Mama slept in a crib at the hospital.  I came home one time for a shower and not until Daddy and Dayton were there with him!  Dayton stayed over there during the days, bc we didn't want him to feel like he was in an "isolation room" again.  I held the breathing treatment mask, bc the scrubs scared him that the hospital staff wore.  Crazy how we never think about those connections and how they must be woven in their brains until you see the terror on their sweet little faces!  Children don't belong in places like that.  They need medical care, love, and comfort.  Cribs should never bring fear into a child's eyes!  Here at home, he is never in the crib except at night.  Not even naps are in the crib!  He spent far too long in a crib and I won't have him in one unless it is necessary.  I usually get him to sleep before I even put him in it.

I will say that we had a not good experience with one of the PICU doctors.  Keith (and Dayton) got to see what happens when someone messes with Mama Bears little cub.  Any time what happens comes up and I tell someone the story, Keith laughs hysterically.  He might look little, but he is FIVE year old in there and he fully appreciated the wrath of Mama coming down on the doctor who wasn't doing it right!  lol

The picture above is of him heading home from the hospital.  He's home and doing wonderful again now.  We went to a new ENT this past Monday and he will be having the surgery he needs this coming Wednesday.  Yes, the day before Thanksgiving.  Not the best time to not be feeling well.  Our hope is that he will not be hospitalized for this one, but if he is then we will have Thanksgiving whenever he gets out.  He needs this done so that he can get healthy and that is the first available appointment.  He will NOT be off of antibiotics at all until after the surgery.  Please pray that the surgery goes very well and he heals up perfectly!

This picture is how happy Keith was even at the doctor's office when the "people in scrubs" (AKA nurses) left the room!  Love that smile and so blessed to get to be his Mama!

We also went on a Wednesday night to speak at a large church locally about adoption.  Our kids do great at church usually.  Nicholas got out of the van and immediately freaked out.  The church was a large brick building just like his institution.  :(  It took him a very long to calm down and a lot of reassurance and time to feel safe.  He was loud and afraid.  It was pitiful to watch.  He was terrified that he was "going back".  At home, and in places that he has been and knows, he is a very comfortable acting little guy.  You put him in a place that looks like it could be an institution and in the dark and he is still frightened.  He will get better the rest of the way.  You'd already not recognize him as the little boy that I picked up!  He just has to keep experiencing that even places that look like that will never separate him from the love of his family and whatever was scary behind those walls, will never bother him again.

I just won't apologize for Nicholas's noise the other night either.  That is exactly why Christians need to get off their butts and go adopt children.  Children should NOT be in institutions.  They should NOT be in foster care.  They should NOT be in orphanages.  CHRISTIANS should be DOING what GOD SAID and then children would be loved and cared for.  The Bible says that what we do unto the least of these we do unto Him, so that means we are leaving Him to waste away, be afraid and alone, and feel unloved and forgotten . . . to the point that scrubs, brick buildings, and cribs are all scary things.  No child should live that way.  I dare to say that it isn't the fault of the governments. . . yes that probably isn't a popular belief.  Governments are not the ones commanded by God to take care of the "orphans".  God told US, His adopted children, to take care of them.  Is it expensive?  YES  Is it difficult?  YES  Do you end up in uncomfortable situations (like a crib)?  YES  Will you get your hands dirty?  YES    BUT IT IS WORTH EVERY SINGLE SECOND AND THE REWARD FAR OUTWEIGH THE COSTS!!  That is the truth of it.  God said to do it and no matter how uncomfortable it makes people, that is what we are suppose to do.  LOVE THEM LIKE HE LOVED US!

We do have a Facebook Auction going on right now.  It will help with the fees to bring home the next 3 Unroes!  Lots of wonderful Christmas presents are available to purchase at great prices!!  We've had some wonderful donations so go check it out!  Three More For the Unroes Christmas Auction

The Difference Love Makes

Well, all of the children are continuing to do VERY well.  I really am going to try to have a full update on here the first part of the week on everyone.  We've been very busy watching the Olympics.  We got some glimpses of Bulgarian athletes that we could root for and of course were rooting for the USA.  That meant popcorn, candy bars, and other snacks were in full force - much to the delight of our newest family members!!!

Keith has grown so very much already!!!  He weighed 18 pounds at the doctors appointment that we went to on Thursday, which meant he had gained another 2 1/2 pounds in the 2 weeks since he was weighed on those exact scales!  Our scales weigh him 2 lbs heavier (what we weighed him on before one of my other updates) and he weighs in at 20lbs on those scales.  *This means that I like his weight on our scales and I like my weight on the doctor's scales!!!  hahaha*

Watch this video and see one of his favorite things to do!

Yes, my sweet boy LOVES to laugh!

He laughs around his bottles.

He looks up when he is in his seat just waiting for a few tickles to get him going!

There are two special children still waiting in the horrible place that Keith came from.

Many of the children have families coming for them, 

BUT these TWO still wait

and their time is limited

because their files will be going back soon!

They have nothing to laugh about.

No LOVE.

No ATTENTION.

No Mommy on the way.

NO HOPE!

Unless someone steps out in faith 

and allows God to use them.

THIS IS PENNY.

She is 12 years old and only weighs 21 pounds.  

She still takes a bottle and has never had even a small chance.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO HER REECE'S RAINBOW LINK!

THIS IS PAYTON.

He is 8 years old and only weighs 17 pounds.

In May 2012, after treatment through the medical fund, he was diagnosed with severe malnutrition. He has been placed on a specific feeding regimen to address this issue. He is currently almost 8 years old and weighs just 17 pounds. He has also received lens implants to fix his cataracts. He has spent the majority of his life in a crib. He shows an interest in what is going on around him and enjoys attention. He needs a family that will help him to reach his true potential.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO GO TO HIS REECE'S RAINBOW LINK!

These two children's files are only with the agency for a short while.  

Their time on Reece's Rainbow is short lived.

They need YOU!

What can you do?

Share this post?

Pray for their safety and that God sends a family to them?

Adopt Payton?

Adopt Penny?

Prepare a homestudy to bring home another waiting child?

Donate to help another child come home 

(neither has a donate button because their files will go back soon)?

Ask God what He wants you to do!!!!

He wants you to do something!!

That is Keith's laughter.

Dayton was trying to film him last night laughing, 

but Keith kept crawling into his lap . . . 

which put him up too close.

Imagine this laughter though . . . 

coming from your living room . . . 

where Penny

or Payton

are learning of love 

and family. . . 

I can't adequately describe the joy that it brings 

to me as a Mommy

but I promise that if you experienced it

then you would want to share it.

You'd want more Mommies 

to know the joy of hearing a child

who spent their lives imprisoned 

behind the bars of a crib

LAUGHING, 

REACHING, 

CRAWLING,

AND 

LOVING!

You'd want to get every child out of 

THAT PLACE

and all the places like it.

PLEASE HELP PENNY AND PAYTON!!!

Quest Post from Brent (Dad) this Father's Day

   This Father's Day, I am celebrating as a Daddy of 18 kids. What's scary is that I could have missed out on all these blessings, had I not been willing to step out years ago and go against the grain of what our culture typically believes about families, about adoption, and about fatherhood. 

   Growing up and as a young adult, I never gave much thought to adoption and certainly never considered that it would be a part of the fabric of my life and my family. When I met my wife-to-be, Amanda, I was a rather immature man-child who loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him, yet was almost completely ignorant of what it really meant to be a servant of Christ while I was wrapped up in my own little world -- which was about to miraculously expand. Amanda and I discussed family during our 6 month courtship, of course, and it was somewhat of the "American Dream" type of philosophy, something like 3 or 4 kids...but, unbeknownst to me at the time, Amanda had a greater plan. But first she had to hook me, and after the wedding, it wasn't long before the plan began to unfold. Or maybe, it was like the plans that I thought I had began to unravel. 

   There came a time when Amanda mentioned the idea of foster care and adoption to me. At that time, I was like so many others in the world -- that was something for someone else to do. I wanted "our kids", not someone else's. My heart was cold and closed to the idea. It wasn't my idea of a family. But, Amanda being the persistent soul that she is, didn't give up on me. Or, maybe it's that she refused to let me give up. She always has said she gets what she wants. She first met me at church when she was 13 and I was 21 -- I do not remember that day, but she prayed about me for the next 5 years, and when we met again when she was 18, I was instantly drawn to her and she was still 18 when we wed. And it was prayer that she impressed upon me as a cold-hearted soul in our early marriage. She asked me "Have you ever just told God you would do whatever He wanted you to do?" Well, no, not really, I hadn't -- maybe I was afraid to, maybe I didn't trust Him enough, maybe I didn't want to give up my so-called plans. But, through the work of the Holy Spirit and the love of a godly woman, one day I did pray that prayer and I did tell God that. It was like everything within me began to shift, and my heart began to open up to the many possibilities that God had out there for my life, for our life, that I had been keeping closed out. When I said yes to God, to His plan, and yes to adoption, and yes to letting Him build our family, then the adventure...and the blessings, began.

   Our first child was Precious, an 8 year old African-American girl with special needs from Cincinnati. There were many comments from mine and Amanda's families concerning the inter-racial aspect, questionings of if that is really what is best for the child, and so forth. But I am so thankful that God is the God of all peoples and ethnic groups, and that color is certainly no barrier in building a family. And what is best for a child is certainly not languishing in the foster care system and eventually becoming an adult without a family. Six weeks after Precious was placed with us, our biological son Dayton was born. His birth was miraculous in many ways, and I truly believe we may never have experienced him being our son had we not been obedient to God's desire for us. But yet the statements from our families continued -- now we had a biological child and surely we would not feel the need to continue to adopt. What they didn't understand, what many still don't understand, is that adoption was in our hearts.  And once it's there, it really never leaves. You see, I came to realize that adoption is at the very heart of God. I don't know how I could have been so blind to this before, but it's all throughout Scripture -- adoption is how God is building His family, the greatest family of all. When He saves us, He adopts us. He becomes our Heavenly Father. We have all the rights of Sonship. We're His children. The doctrine of adoption, which I had always overlooked, has become my favorite doctrine. When we adopt children it is a glimpse into how God feels about us, how He loves us, unconditionally. Don't overlook it. I invite you to immerse yourself in it. It will change you.

   The children kept coming, a brother and sister from Columbus, African-American -- Unique with special needs, Denzell a "typical" child.  The school system our children were in at the time took great offense to our enrolling of our African American children. I was teaching in that system at the time -- a bogus charge was leveled against me, I ultimately lost my job, we lost our house, our children and family endured much mistreatment in that community, and we eventually moved to my wife's family's farm. There is much more to this story, but the fact is that there is a cost to following Jesus, there is a cost to adoption...but when I think about the price that God paid to adopt me (just look at the Cross), it sure makes any price we may need to pay woefully pale in comparison. This battle ultimately ended in a federal courtroom, with charges of discrimination and slander, among other things. With God directing the fight, we victoriously won. A bold and loud statement was made that attitudes and actions of prejudice are completely unacceptable, and that children and the truth are worth fighting for. During that great time of trial and testing, while I was without a job and my name was marred, God amazingly blessed and we added two more children that we fostered and then adopted, with finalization occurring not long after the trial as we were moving into our new house. A new job would soon come as a manager of a care facility for adults with special needs, and the adoptions would explode, mostly involving children with special needs. A sibling group of three from California, giving us 9, followed by two brothers from Texas, gave us 11 children. Our family was rapidly growing, and I was loving adoption and fatherhood, and loving the big family life. A little darling girl with Down Syndrome, Julianne, came next from Texas, followed a couple years later by Cody, from the same foster home as Julianne, to give us 13. That is the number of children in our home right now, a beautiful mixture of Caucasian, African-American, Hispanic, and Hispanic-Asian children. The diagnoses include such things as developmental delays, MR, autism, fetal-alcohol syndrome, cerebral palsy, reactive attachment disorder, and  Down Syndrome. And some children are considered "typical." The world of adoption involves children of all ethnicities, backgrounds, diagnoses, and ability levels. I invite you to open your heart and eyes to children with special needs -- they too are at the heart of God...whatever we do unto the least of these, we do unto Him. There are blessings for families with special needs children that the general society just doesn't realize or experience. 

   It is largely because of Julianne and her adorable extra chromosome that we are now adopting 5 children from Bulgaria. Yes, God is the God of all nations and He has decided to add a European flavor to our family. I spent nearly a month in Bulgaria earlier this year meeting and spending time with each child, none of which are biologically related and who live in 5 separate orphanages or institutions. Each of the 5 children, like Julianne, has Down Syndrome. My eyes were opened in a new way as I became aware first-hand of the largely deplorable conditions of children with special needs in that nation. Thankfully, we are near the end of this 18-month-long international process -- the adoptions were finalized in Bulgaria earlier this week...they're ours!...and Amanda should be travelling in July to bring them finally home. I'm so excited for them to get here -- I promise you, once you have a child with Down Syndrome, you just want more!

   Yes, I could have missed out on all this--but the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father have a way of penetrating hearts like mine with the needs, challenges, and multitude of blessings outside my own little world. On this Father's Day, I encourage you to take a close and prayerful look at the heart of our Heavenly Father -- how He builds families, how He cares for the little ones, how He desires for us to be His hands and feet. We are commanded to care for the orphans, but our action should be motivated out of love, not simply duty. Adoption will change your life, not just the kids' lives. You will understand the love of our Heavenly Father in a deeper way. If He has saved you, you are adopted. I assure you God doesn't regret the process or the price that was paid...for you. If you allow adoption to be a part of the fabric of your family, you will never regret it either. And you'll reap the blessings for all eternity.